Linus' blanket was the first thing they took
they gave him some Ritalin and a self-help book
it might have been ADD or just depression
Lucy started drinking every day
Snoopy was taken by the ASPCA
and Pigpen was arrested for possession
Peppermint Patty started working the docks
Schroder had to put his piano in hock
when the dust settled, Lucy faced 2 counts of extortion
cause in the Pumpkin Patch she had her fling
she and Linus doing that little thing
they tried to con Charlie Brown to pay for the abortion
good grief, charlie brown
When Charlie tried to kick the ball Lucy grabbed it
so when Lucy had the baby Charlie he stabbed it
murder in his heart, with that innocent face so round
cause when Charles Schulz died they were in a pinch
never should have turned the strip over to David Lynch
You're a good man no more, Charlie Brown